I wrote this quite awhile back, and I didn't know what it meant to me until now. It's a little dark, but the message is one of love. Even when life and all its chaos wants to stop you, theres that one thing that keeps you going. Sometimes being apart is so hard, and it feels like I'm in a storm. But even when it feels like the world is against me... i still keep going, and "we"keep going. The last stanza is my favorite.. and it means everything to me in relation to fighting for Diana. I love you so much sweetie, <3 no matter what, no matter the situation or the goals that confront me, I will fight my way to you. 

I love you more than anything! enjoy-

Black stone river-

shall I ever meet the shore?

To think this thought I quiver,

thus the answer be delivered...

it's here I tread forevermore.

...

To twist along the rocks that break,

which steal of my skin-

and for the breath that each I take

I fight the waves with life at stake,

to reach the bay, my love again.

...

But here I swallow the deepest waters,

as I sink into the dark.

No more shouts, gasps, or hollers.

Just embrace of all that bothers-

in the chill of my embark

...

For here lay amongst the depths,

at the bottom where I sigh.

But never quit at my attempts.

To swim atop would make no sense..

but for you, my dear, I'll try. 

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

A Place to Call Home

So, Diana has gotten me totally addicted to "Sims Online". Why is it so addicting? All I do is eat, poop, play guitar and sleep, (which are all the same things I do in "real" life). Truth is, its fun to decorate, and build a home! I have such a dude place, equipped with a computer, paintings, and a piggy bank that sits on top of the refrigerator. There's one extra thing that makes it special: DIANA!!!!!

She's totally in the game! Diana is always just a click away! I show up, barge through the door, and demand cuddles on the couch! We dance to jazz, sing love songs, kiss, hug, and even pose for pictures! Her place is amazing, and is slowly turning into a mansion. I eat the food in her fridge and sometimes leave puddles of water in her bathroom... but she still loves me. It's just so great to see her! It's almost like real life, and for a second, I feel like I get fooled into believing, (like we are actually together).

There once was a time when visiting her was so easy, and all I had to do was drive down the street. This game is reminiscent of that, and how wonderful it really was. When I look at a map and see how far she is... it makes my heart sink. I can't run to her, I cant do much of anything. Now I use all my 15 energy points on Sims to hang with Diana... until I have to go back home where I poop and rummage through garbage.

I feel like life is a ocean, and I'm in a tiny boat. Sometimes I'm in the middle of a storm, and sometimes its smooth sailing... either way, I know where I'm going, and I wont stop till I reach Diana.

Cause what is life all about? It's nothing without someone to share it with. It's about finding your "home", and without that special someone, your just living in a house. So for now I'm stuck in Arizona, building a fake home online and flirting with Diana..( and being quite forward if I do say so myself). But I know one thing for sure, and that's Diana is my home.. and my heart resides where she goes.

 I'm glad to see that our characters are just as in love as we are! someday we can stop pretending and finally be together!!

I Love you so much Diana <3

Me and My "Boo"

Diana is officially the worlds biggest scaredy cat... and as for me.. I'm the world's second biggest scaredy cat. Together, we are two fuzzy cats with giant tails in the air, (a image I like to use a lot, just ask Diana). There have been numerous times where me and Diana have been put into startling situations! Often, late at night I like to think about them, and give myself the creeps, (i'm weird, and i like to be scared).

I remember one night me and Diana got in her car and drove around my neighborhood. We didn't get far before pulling over the side of a park, (you know, the one with the swing set? goooood memories). Well, what does a young couple like to do in the middle of the night, in the back seat of car in a dark secluded spot? what do you think? DUH!!

We played BANANA GRAMS!!!!!

no, no, not really. We made out!

Se there we were, making out like high school kids, being super cute and frisky when all of a sudden, Diana stopped and stared out the back window.

Could it have been a skunk? A jogger? A farting moose? no, none of that.

What she was looking at, was far more suspicious than any of those things. In fact, the very thing that she saw was a man in a trench coat, standing near our car, holding a briefcase and a newspaper.

The dude was starring at us, and mind you its about midnight. Wether he had a knife in the briefcase, or a bag of skittles didn't matter to me, (I wasn't sticking around to find out)!

Diana responded in typical "Horror Movie" fashion. She sat there, stared and did nothing.

Not me though! I was like the Terminator "GET DOWN! COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE! ASTA LA VISTA BABY!" (ok, ok... I wasn't as cool as the terminator.. I was more like the robot from Wall-E). But regardless, we made it out of there like we were auditioning for a scene in The Fast and the Furious.

That's just one example of our situations. We once woke up during a large roar of thunder, and instantly clung onto each other. After watching Insidious, me and Diana were physically attached to each other (Koala bear style). We always hear noises, we always speculate ghosts are involved and that everything is haunted.

We once went to the Marilyn Monroe suite at the San Carlos Hotel... and let me tell you, we felt something. Diana felt something walk right through her, and I felt something in my pants, (totally just kidding, I felt exactly what Diana felt).

It's not so much that I like to be scared... it's that I like to be scared with Diana. She is literally my "Boo". We always get so scared and run down the hall together and jump into bed! There we will remain in a cuddling position for the rest of the night.

I love that we scare each other. When we first started dating I would hide in the guest room as she went to the bathroom... and every time she came out, i would jump from the dark and be like, "hey! whats up?" WHAHAHAHA<3 <3 <3 <3 or i would play my guitar and start singing.

I love that we watch Ghost Adventures, that we watch scary movies and that we freak out easily. It's good to have someone you can be scared with. In life, we all get scared sometimes, and it's not always going to be ghouls and ghost that get us. I get scared that Diana is so far away! I always get nervous if i dont hear from her, or if there is a tornado near by, or a hurricane. I just get scared cause she's the love of my life, and I always want her to be safe. It's all about having someone to be scared with, and having someone who can be scared for you cause they love you and care for your safety.

I love you Diana <3 I cant wait till we are together and all spooked again.

MY 1st Edition Charizard Card

At this moment  I should be studying for anatomy, instead, I'm writing this <3. Growing up, nothing was more important to me than Pokemon, (and still as an adult I think it's AMAZING). I had the video games, the shirts, toys, movies, anything and everything "Pokemon". I remember when Pop-Tarts had special addition Pokemon figures in them, (did I buy them all? NO! I opened all the boxes at the store and took the ones I wanted. I must have gone through 15 boxes before getting them all). Was it safe to say I was addicted? (yes...I was very much addicted, the only thing I loved more at the time was eating Mcdonald's).

But even though I had all this stuff, only one thing TRULY mattered above all else... "the trading cards". Nothing could stop me from collecting them all! My parents really must have loved me, cause I must have been so annoying, "POKEMON wight now pwease!!!". Well, anyone who collects the cards, (or anyone who has eyes, ears and a brain), knows which card is the most valuable of them all. CHARIZARD. This card is the the holy grail of all Pokemon Cards. Nothing surpasses the beauty and the prestige of a 1st Edition Charizard from the base set.

Why am I mentioning this? because I want to.

There's actually more of a reason! Me and Diana Watch this show called My Life as Liz, and in the show is the coolest/sweetest guy in the world; his name is Sully. Sully LOVES Liz, (I mean this kid is bananas for her). All he wants to do is protect her, to love her, and to make sure she's taken care of. One episode in particular, Sully actually refers to Liz as a "1st edition Charizard card". ...............WOW. When I heard that, I totally knew what he meant.

Although my Charizard card is kept safely under my bed, (secured in 2 protective sleeves), it's still not as value as the one I have in North Carolina, which is my Diana<3

Me and Diana are total nerds, and we still mess around in the world of Pokemon! I knew I had found my soulmate once she pulled out her binder of cards <3 this girl has a serious collection, (including some Gengars that I've been trying to steal from her grrrrrrrr). But I love her to death!!!! She knows all my nerd references and all the terms!

Nothing beats laying in bed and playing Pokemon all night next to Diana. Every time one of us starts to evolve, we stop and watch (MAX volume!!!).

She is the rare candy to my level 19 Magikarp, the Master Ball to my Mewtwo... the Pokeflute to my Snorlax.

And when it comes to women, I don't need to catch them all, cause I already got the best one :)
I love you Diana <3

Till We Swing Again

For as long as I can remember, me and Diana have gone to this swing set down by a park next to my house. We pretty much owned this park! It usually started off by Diana calling me at night, asking if we could go swing. Sometimes she would show up after work, and sometimes she would just come from her house. The great thing about swinging next to someone is that you can talk about anything and it seems ok. We could laugh and be silly, or we could be serious and share our feelings.

Mostly we challenged each other, and let me tell you, Diana is not to be taken lightly. This girl can fly! I can only get so far before I start to chicken out! once my butt starts lifting off the seat THAT'S IT. Diana could be making loops and back flips like as if it were normal. Thats the thing about Diana though, she can exceed at anything.

I often think about the swings and I make sure to take a peek of them as I go running at night. I really miss swinging with her, and if she were here now, I would take her hand and walk her back to the park for a good swing. It really isn't the same without her, and I'd rather just stare at it from afar than ride it alone.
This park has been the a place of romantic getaways and quiet nights. Once the weather was nice out, we would walk around, (and rest-assure, it gets real dark out at the park). There are so many spots and secret paths that we could walk to and relax, kiss in peace, and listen to the songs of the night. OH but there's one important thing that happens around 9:30 to 10:00. all the lights go off! Me and Diana have been caught off guard a couple of times, stuck in the pitch dark of a wide and vast park. spooky? YEAH, YOU KIDDING ME??! we watch horror movies way to much! But it was always nice for her to cuddle up close and for us to walk through the darkness together.
Thats what its all about, finding that special some one who you can walk through the darkness with. I'm not just talking about parks, but i'm talking about life. Right now, being so far away, me and Diana are walking in the dark, (a time of struggle and heartache). Even though I get sad, and I pathetically look at the swing set..... I know that it will be ok, because Diana is my girl and she promises that she will always be there. We have overcome so much already, that this is just another opportunity to strengthen our love. I think of Diana, and I immediately want to rejoice in the fact of how blessed I am. I feel like the luckiest man alive to have her! She gets me and she knows the real me. I trust her, even as we travel through the unknown... cause its not about the journey, its about who you go with.
Thank you Diana for being the one I can trust... the one I walk with through all the obstacles and all the storms against us. I will never stop fighting for us, and I will never stop loving you. You are my everything, and I promise to never give up on you. I love you <3

-Andrew A.

Love isn't always Black and White.

I can still remember the first time I photographed Diana. The circumstances were incredible. This was a new time for us, a time for healing and renewal. I thought I was so cool and artsy. I brought my tripod over, a lamp for light, and rolls of film. We sat in her bedroom as I setup my equipment. At first there was this silence.... we just smiled at each other, and nodded. I put my film in the camera, and then we just stood there. I didn't know what I wanted "specifically", I just knew I wanted to stare at her smile forever.

After months of not really speaking to each other, there we were, (finally! just existing in each others presence). I hid behind my camera, it was easy just to stare, to evaluate. How do men describe women's beauty? some say "oh your so gorgeous!" others may use a pick up line. Not me. True beauty needs no words, because words don't justify what the eyes behold. Diana is that type of beauty, a speechless type that leaves me staring like a fool.

 This picture here is one of the first I've ever made of Diana. Like us at the time, the photo is grainy, out of focus, and overall, uncertain. We were so fresh, so eager to finally be happy. Nothing is more intimate than letting someone photograph you. She did just that, she gave me everything and she trusted me. I can't help but smile when I see her starring in this photo. LOOK AT IT! so charged with sincerity. This woman loves me, and this photo says it all. The shoot wasn't all seriousness! My God, we had some laughs. I asked Diana to lay her head back on my lap and to close her eyes. Once Diana gets the case of the giggles, THAT'S IT! for some reason she couldn't stop laughing! of course that cute giggle of hers is contagious and it gets me laughing too. I wish I could show the contact sheet, (so many smiles). But I got what I wanted, a chance to just sit down and finally look at her, to not only appreciate her beauty, but to appreciate her soul. This woman is beautiful within and without. After the shoot, Diana sat up in bed and drew me close to her, thats when we shared one of the the most love filled kisses I have ever felt.

Nearly two years have past since that moment, and I still photograph Diana, and still receive those awesome "love" filled kisses. This is the latest photograph I've made of Diana! She's resting in bed and letting that light fall on her hands. I remember wanting to take a different photo, but when I saw her rubbing her eyes from being tired, I got inspired to do this instead. Now the photos are a lot sharper and absolutely clear like our relationship. I'm not saying we're perfect, (and Diana would be the first to remind me of that when I try to avoid arguments), but i just know for sure that i'm crazy in love with her and I hate being away from her. Diana always tells me "I don't want to grow old", and I understand why she doesn't want to. No one want to have grey hair, to struggle to walk, to wrinkle and scream the word "WHAT!!???" when someone asks us a question. Well, even though she doesn't want to age, I look forward to being the one to age with her, (and also making photos of her). It's not even about making art anymore. I don't know if I want to really be known as a artist, I just want to be known as a man who truly loved. I cant wait to see what the next photo of her will be. I want to photograph us moving into our first house, sharing our first christmas, our wedding night, ALL our anniversaries, and ALL of our loved filed adventures. That's mostly it, I just know I'm happiest with her, and everyday without her is a day lost, and a photograph missed. I love you Diana, and I always will <3